Ever wonder why a child might steal or fight with their siblings, and then maybe even treat other people unfairly later on? Is it just a bit of acting out, or could it be a sign they’re really craving attention? What I’ve noticed is this: when kids don’t feel like they’re treated the same as their brothers or sisters, or if their parents often don’t pay them much mind, they’re more likely to start stealing, feeling angry, and just being negative overall. On the flip side, kids who are always the favorite might grow up thinking they’re entitled and that it’s okay to just take what they want.
In the Quran, Allah tells us: “O you who believe! Always stand up for what’s right, as witnesses for Allah, even if it’s against yourselves, your parents, or your family, whether it’s about someone rich or poor.” (Quran 4:135). This really shows us how important it is to be fair and treat everyone the same in all parts of our lives, even with our own children. If you think about the story of Prophet Yusuf (peace be upon him), there’s a big lesson for us there too: no matter how special one of your kids might seem, as a parent, you need to treat them all fairly and equally. And there’s even a saying from Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) where he said, “Be fair among your children,” and he said it three times (Muslim).
Take a moment to think about why He (peace be upon him) would emphasize that so strongly!
I’ve seen that when kids aren’t treated equally or when parents clearly favor one child over another, it can really mess them up later in life. Kids who were often ignored or made to feel unimportant might grow up not feeling good about themselves, having trouble making good friends or finding their place in the world. On the other hand, kids who always got their way might become adults who only think about themselves and don’t really care about how others feel.
So, what’s the simple answer? It’s being fair and treating everyone the same at home. Parents need to really try their best to treat each child fairly, listen to what they need, and try to understand how they’re feeling. When we do this, we can raise kids who are kind, caring, and have good morals – kids who will respect other people’s rights and belongings.
So, what can you actually do to start being more fair and equal at home? Here are a few easy first steps you can take today:
- Think honestly about how you’re raising your kids and see if there are any areas where you could be more fair.
- Maybe ask for advice from people who know a lot about raising kids.
- Have open and honest chats with your kids about what they need and how they’re feeling.
- Really try to make a conscious effort to treat each child fairly and equally.
Don’t let unfair treatment and favoritism hold your child back from becoming the best person they can be. Take action now and start building a more fair and equal home for your kids.